5 Reasons to Make Music with Your Family This Holiday Season

Baby class

At this time of year, music often plays a bigger role in many people’s lives than it does at other times. There are end-of-year school concerts, choir performances, seasonal community events, holiday hits playing on the radio. The good news is, they all offer abundant opportunities to take advantage of the physical and emotional benefits of music. And they can be a springboard to all of us playing and making music throughout the entire year.

Below are five reasons you should be making music with your family this holiday, or any, season:

1. Music-making is beneficial to development. Music stimulates social, physical, cognitive, and emotional development and promotes language and concentration skills, confidence, and self-esteem. During the early childhood years, active engagement with music promotes brain development and naturally supports growth essential to life and learning, as well as increasing the bond between children and their caregivers.

It’s easy to get started making music with children during the holidays: Sing your favorite carols in the car, dance to holiday songs, take children to a holiday concert or musical. A 2014 Harris Poll commissioned by Music Together revealed that only a low 17 percent of parents sing to their child daily. But music development is similar to language development. Imagine if you only talked to your child once a day! We teach children language by continuously talking and reading to them. Similarly, the best thing parents can do to support musical growth is to sing and dance with their children, as often as possible. And what better time of year to bring more music into your child’s life than the holidays, when music is in abundance?

2. Music helps us create and recall powerful memories. Music can spark the recall of past experiences. It helps the past “come alive,” giving us access to deep feelings as we remember an event that once happened to us. Singing while you decorate the tree, at a holiday party, or at a religious celebration can help form memories and bonds with extended family and friends that will be recalled by your kids for many years to come.

3. Music relieves stress. The holidays, while joyful, can also be stressful. Singing can actually relieve that. Studies show that singing has the ability to slow our pulse and heart rate, lower our blood pressure, and decrease the levels of stress hormone in our bodies. Making music can also result in increased levels of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that stimulates the brain’s reward system. Play music in the car while navigating the mall parking lot or sing along to a holiday recording while getting ready for company. It will help you stay calm and, most importantly, model for your children a healthy way to deal with the stress of everyday life.

4. Music connects us. The holidays can be lonely for some people. Singing, especially in groups, can relieve this loneliness by connecting us to others in ways that no other activity can. Recent research indicates that music making as a shared experience can activate and synchronize similar neural connections in all those participating. This synchronization can result in feelings of empathy and shared intention that can promote positive social interaction and bonding. When you sing with others, everyone benefits.

5. Singing is intergenerational. Music is an ageless way to connect with older relatives and create ties between youngest and oldest family members. Plus, music supports the aging processes. In later years, participating in music activities helps keep the brain active and engaged and supports us physically, socially, and emotionally. Sharing memories of holiday music-making from their past and teaching those songs to future generations can be joyous for both the elderly storytellers and the family members listening, forming new, pleasurable memories.

By Susan Darrow, CEO of Music Together

Susan Darrow is the CEO of Music Together, an internationally recognized, developmentally appropriate early childhood music and movement program for children birth through age seven. 

Photographs courtesy of Music Together

7 Holiday Sleep Tips For Your Babies & Toddlers

Baby in bed

The holidays are fast approaching, and if you’re like most people out there, your calendar is already filling up with holiday parties and visits with friends and relatives. But while these celebrations can be tons of fun, they can spell major sleep drama for babies and toddlers. Most little ones thrive on consistency, after all, and holiday celebrating can throw a serious wrench into your normally-predictable schedule.

So how can you enjoy the holiday season while also preserving precious sleep?

1. Use temperament as a guide. If your child is super-adaptable, then you may have nothing to worry about. Even if bedtime and naps are all over the place for a week or two, your kiddo may sleep just fine when you put her down. If you have a less-than-adaptable child on your hands, however, respect that, and don’t try to force her to adapt to a hundred different schedule disruptions. This means you’ll have to adapt to her needs.

2. Pick and choose your activities. Remember, not every holiday invitation requires that you RSVP yes! While you may have to take part in your in-law’s holiday dinner, do you really need to attend your co-worker’s girlfriend’s cousin’s cookie swap? It’s fine to agree to attend a few activities that will mess with bedtime or naps, but do so carefully, recognizing that saying yes to the event may mean sleep drama later.

3. Make the most of your “down” days. Use your quiet days at home to reinforce your child’s sleep schedule, and to make up for lost sleep. If you just spent all day yesterday towing your kid along on a holiday shopping spree, be sure that today, naps all happen at their usual times, and that you allow for more sleep than usual.

4. Keep late bedtimes to a minimum. A few late nights are fine for most children, but avoid an overabundance. They tend to result in overtiredness, which in turn means early-waking and nap issues for most babies and toddlers.

5. Prioritize the first morning nap. The downside of many of your holiday activities may be missed or shortened naps, and that’s okay—as long as you plan well. If you know your baby or toddler will have to skip his afternoon nap, be sure to prioritize the morning nap, as that nap tends to be more restorative, anyway. For that matter, avoid activities that will force your child to miss the morning nap; you’ll both be happier in the long- and short run.

6. Watch for the dreaded O! Most holiday gatherings tend to be on the noisy and crowded side. Be aware that while you may be able to cope well with the noisy crowds, your child may become quickly overstimulated. This happens particularly with sensitive and perceptive babies and toddlers , turning them cranky. This can make sleep even more challenging, as a cranky child is less likely to relax and fall asleep. If you sense your child is becoming overstimulated, take her into a quiet space and involve in a soothing activity you know she enjoys.

7. Plan for an adjustment period once the holidays are over. We all need this, actually, not just babies and toddlers! After a few weeks of rich food, busy activities, late nights, and out-of-the-ordinary schedules, everyone needs a few days to get back to normal. Plan a few at-home days during which you can get your child back to her usual eating and sleeping schedule. These days will no doubt feel “off” as you work toward resuming normalcy. But in the end, it’ll make getting back on track much easier.

By Nicole Johnson, The Baby Sleep Site®

Photograph by Giu Vicente, via Unsplash

Crafty Kids: 3D Origami Spider for Halloween!

Origami spider

By Stephanie Martyn

Spiders don’t always have to be creepy! This sweet-looking barnyard arachnid will get lots of friendly pats if you leave him lying around the house when the trick-or-treaters come through.

When complete, this project lies horizontal. Construction starts at the head of the spider, which you’ll see at the bottom of the diagram. You’ll notice the pieces that stick out from the diagram: those are the legs of the spider. These pieces don’t need to be constructed until the main body is completed. Each leg has 3 origami pieces.

What you’ll need:
84 pieces of “Size B” black paper, folded according to the instructions below
All-purpose glue
Scissors
White paper for eyes
Black marker
Hot glue gun
Yellow Paper for mouth

Key:
Upside-down V: Rough side facing upward (structure lies horizontally)
Star symbol:  Placement of eyes

To start, fold the black paper into V’s like this (yes, there are a lot of steps, but they’re easy, we promise!):

1. Take a piece of paper and fold it in half the long way.

2. From here on out, it’s important that the opening to this folded piece is facing down. Fold down the middle the short way to make a crease, then unfold.

3. Fold down half the piece at an angle (on both sides of the crease) so that the folded edge lines up to the crease in the middle. Be sure not to overlap these folds.

4. Flip the piece over.

5. Fold the bottom right corner up diagonally.

6. Repeat symmetrically on the other side. Be sure not to overlap onto the top half, otherwise the pockets won’t turn out properly.

7. Fold one bottom triangle upward.

8. Fold the other bottom triangle upward so the whole piece now looks like a triangle.

9. Fold across the middle. (Flaps should be on the inside of the triangle.) Ta-da! Your 3D origami piece is complete.

10. These are the “pockets” for constructing. This is where the “points” will be inserted.

11. This is the “smooth side” of a 3D origami piece. It’s shown by a in the diagrams for each project.

ORIGAMIPIECEM.jpg

12. This is the “rough side” of a 3D origami piece. It’s shown by a V in the diagrams for each project.

Now, start constructing at the head of the Spider.

1. Your first row will have 3 pieces. Start by holding 2 black folded pieces next to each other with their points up and rough side facing you. With a third piece, hold it in the same direction and insert its pockets into the middle points of the first 2 pieces. This should join the first 2 pieces. Glue as you go.

2. You have 3 pieces attached to one another, which makes up part of row 1 and 2 of the diagram. To construct off of this, take another black folded piece and hold it right next to the 2 pieces from row 1. Use another black folded piece and insert it into row 2. This piece’s pockets will be inserted into the points of row 1, thus joining the pieces of that row. You should now have 3 pieces in row 1, and 2 pieces in row 2. Keep gluing!

3. Continue building and following the diagram. On all rows with 6 pieces across, the outer pieces must be inserted with the point into the inner pocket of that piece. This is so part of the folded piece will hang out from the body and you will have something to construct the legs off of.

4. Construct each leg by taking 3 folded pieces and inserting them directly into one another’s pockets (2 points of a piece will be inserted into the 2 pockets of another).

5. The legs will attach to the body at the 8 areas where the flaps are hanging out. Remember to glue!

6. Cut 2 small circles out of white paper and use a black marker to color a smaller circle in the middle. Hot glue the eyes to the structure.

7. Finally, cut the mouth out of yellow paper and hot glue it under the eyes.

9. He’s ready to crawl away!

Excerpted from 3D Origami Fun!: 25 Fantastic, Foldable Paper Projects by Stephanie Martyn. Copyright © F+W. Used by permission of the publisher. All rights reserved. Photography by Stephanie Martyn and Elisabeth Lariviere.

10 Fun Babysitting Games To Play On The Job

Finding the right activities to keep children entertained while babysitting can be challenging, but it doesn’t have to be. Engaging the kids in fun and interactive babysitter games is a great way to create a positive and enjoyable experience for you and the children.

From classic games to creative crafts, these ten babysitting games are perfect for building connections and ensuring everyone has a good time. Remember to consider the children’s interests and abilities before selecting a game. Here are some fantastic options to get you started.

1. Hide and Seek

One babysitting game that will win over the children you care for is hide and seek. This is an excellent indoor and outdoor activity that both older and younger children can participate in. Before you get started, establish ground rules. For example, you may require that everyone stay on one floor of the home, and the person only needs to be found rather than tagged. For toddlers, you may simply hide a specific toy and hunt for that item together. This classic game never gets old and is a fun activity that engages kids in active play.

2. Age-appropriate puzzles and Board Games

Chances are several puzzles and board games that children love to play are stored in a closet or cabinet in the home. They may jump at the chance to play with these puzzles with you. Before the parents leave, ask them where they store their puzzles and games and which are the kids’ favorites. Take it further; you could bring a few games and puzzles. Children with access to new activities are often more engaged and excited about participating. This is a great way to develop motor skills and cognitive abilities in a fun setting.

3. I Spy

This is a quieter game that almost everyone can participate in. Depending on the child’s age and abilities, you can tailor how challenging it is. It can be played outdoors, when the weather is nice, or indoors. An alternative is to bring a search-themed book with you. Since these books are usually more challenging, they are better for older children. “I Spy” is a simple, interactive game that helps improve observation and language skills.

4. Freeze Dancing

Whenever you are looking for a fun, active babysitting game that will help children burn off some extra energy, freeze-dancing is a perfect idea. You turn on age-appropriate music. You and the children can do silly dances while playing a favorite children’s tune. When the music stops, everyone will immediately freeze in their exact position. This can add a funny balance challenge depending on the dance move that is happening when the music stops. This game is lots of fun and great for developing coordination and rhythm.

5. Simon Says

This classic babysitting game is perfect for kids of all ages. The rules are simple: you give commands starting with “Simon says,” and the children must follow them. If you don’t say “Simon says” first, and a child follows the command, they are out of the game. This game is fun and helps improve listening skills and attention to detail.

babysitter games, nanny games, babysitter puzzles, babysitter activities

 

6. Paper Plate Ring Toss

For this game, you’ll need a few paper plates and household items to use as stands, such as paper towel rolls or empty cans. Cut the centers out of the paper plates to create rings. Then place the paper towel rolls or cans at varying distances and let the children try to toss the paper plate rings onto them. This game is perfect for developing hand-eye coordination and is a fun indoor activity that can be set up quickly.

7. Scavenger Hunt

Create a list of items for the children to find around the house or yard. These can be everyday household items like a piece of paper, a kitchen object, or even a tennis ball. Give them the list and set a timer. The child who finds the most items within the time limit wins. Best of all, this fun indoor or backyard game can be tailored to different age levels and is an interactive way to keep kids engaged and moving.

8. Charades

Charades is a fantastic interactive game that can be played with children of various ages. Write down different actions or items on paper, and have the children take turns drawing a piece of paper and acting out what’s written without speaking.  For children who aren’t old enough to read, you can substitute words on the paper with simple sketches of objects or actions. The other children must guess what the action or item is. This game is great for encouraging creativity and teamwork.

9. Indoor Bowling

Set up a makeshift bowling alley using household items like empty water bottles as pins and a regular-sized ball. Let the children take turns rolling the ball to knock down the pins. This indoor game is perfect for rainy days and helps improve coordination and motor skills.

10. Craft Activities

Finally, engage the children with some fun and easy craft activities. You can use basic craft supplies like construction paper, plain paper, colored paper, and markers. A straightforward idea is to make pet rocks using smooth stones, paint, and googly eyes. This activity allows children to express their creativity and is a calm, relaxing way to spend time together.

Engage with Other Exciting Sitter Games & Activities

Some babysitters will bring a bag of games, books, and other activities, and others will use the items inside the home. When you actively play with the children you spend time with on your babysitting jobs, you can develop great relationships, keep them entertained, and pass the time constructively. Want more ideas? Here are even more babysitting activities to do. Jokes, too, are a hit with children!

Looking for babysitting jobs or nanny positions? Join UrbanSitter to create a free profile and search for jobs.

Top 5 Reasons Why Going Back to School Can Cause Kids Real Pain

Photo via Dale M. Moore

By Dawn Van Osdell

Getting even the most resilient kids into the routine of a new school year can be painful for parents. But the changes associated with going back to class—and even the anticipation of them— can be much tougher for kids, causing them physical discomforts that can be felt as headaches and belly trouble.

“As kids transition back to school and a regular routine hasn’t yet been established, their bodies struggle with lack of sleep and stress, which are all big triggers for headaches and belly pain,” says Nick DeBlasio, MD, a pediatrician at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center.

The trick to avoiding these pesky pains, he says, is to ease kids back into the school year routine, and to talk about the changes that lie ahead well before the first school bell rings. Here are the top five culprits for triggering kids’ aches and pains—especially during the first days of a new school year—and tips from the experts on easing the ouch.

1.  Lack of Sleep. Elementary school-age children need 10 to 11 hours of sleep per night. Even parents with the best intentions often fail at coaxing kids to sleep earlier than that before the first day back to school, especially when it’s still light outside. This means kids are sleep-deprived until their bodies adjust to a new schedule. “Initially, children are excited to come to school and we may not see children with stomachaches or headaches immediately, even if they are sick,” says Beth Mattey, a school nurse and president of the National Association of School Nurses. “The excitement of the first day of school is powerful.”

But when the excitement wears off and the effects of sleep deprivation begin to take a toll, she sees exhausted kids who are hurting and unable to concentrate. To get kids back on schedule and logging the sleep they need, start inching your way back to school-year bedtimes a week—or at least a few days— before school starts. Helping kids set their own alarm clocks to rouse their sleepy selves out of bed in the morning can also be helpful.

2. Stress and Anxiety. It is normal for kids to experience low levels of “ anticipatory anxiety” around the first day of school, and to feel the physical symptoms that worry can cause, such as headaches and stomachaches, says Kristin Carothers, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. Kids often worry about making new friends or re-acquainting with old ones; the structure of a new year; whether their new teacher will be nice; and about academic pressures.

“Physical symptoms linked to anxiety often seem to come out of nowhere, but they can actually be linked to the prospect of having to do something you would rather avoid,” Carothers explains.

Parents can help kids alleviate dread by talking about their own experiences and sharing ways they’ve overcome nervous or worried thoughts. “Reassure kids that the start of a new school year is an opportunity to make new friends, learn new and exciting things, and it’s a right of passage for getting older,” says Carothers. Remind them that there will be other kids who are feeling uneasy, too. Good preparation—such as having supplies stocked, clothes organized, and a schedule carefully spelled out—will also help alleviate any last minute concerns or hectic activity that may create anxiety.

Packing lunches rich in fiber and juicy fruits and vegetables will help fuel and hydrate busy kids / photo via Sheri Miya 

3. Dehydration.  Kids need nearly as much water as adults—seven cups per day is recommended for nine to 12 year-olds. During the summer, they can easily meet their quota, grabbing a drink whenever they are thirsty. Once they’re back in the classroom, it’s not so easy to hydrate. Many kids simply forget to drink during their busy school days. Outside recess, gym class and lingering warm weather all increase the need for fluids and can quickly contribute to dehydration, which causes a nagging headache for busy bodies. Send kids off in the morning with a refillable water bottle and discuss the importance of keeping their bodies and brains well hydrated. You can also boost hydration by incorporating fruits and vegetables with high water content—such as watermelon, strawberries, celery, and cucumbers—into their diet.

4. Skipping Breakfast. It’s not uncommon for kids to skip breakfast in their rush to beat the bell. And those who do eat breakfast may be grabbing a less-than-stellar meal, despite our intentions of sending them off with proper nourishment. Kids who don’t eat a satisfying breakfast start feeling hunger pains or belly aches by mid-morning.

You don’t have to set the alarm clock an hour early to properly fuel your kids and keep hunger pains at bay. A simple mix of complex carbohydrates and protein— such as whole-grain toast and peanut butter or a hard-boiled egg—served with a bit of fruit will do the trick. “Many students may need a mid-morning snack even if they do eat breakfast,” warns Mattey—so be sure to pack a healthy snack or two in addition to a nourishing, satisfying lunch.

5. Constipation. Belly pain can result from anxiety and hunger, but a lot of it can be attributed to constipation, says DeBlasio. “Some kids don’t want to poop at school so they’re holding it in until they get home.” Waiting hours to use the bathroom can cause constipation and an associated bellyache.  Further acerbating the problem are unhealthy school lunches. “Even if the school is serving good food, it can be a problem when kids are allowed to choose their selections,” says DeBlasio—many kids will cobble together an unbalanced mix that’s heavy in fat and sugar.

Ward off constipation by ensuring kids eat a diet high in fiber: plenty of whole fruits, vegetables and grains. You can send a lunch from home or discuss with them how to make healthy food choices from the school cafeteria. These meals should include plenty of fluid, too.  It’s also beneficial to help kids establish regular bowel habits, possibly incorporating bathroom time into their morning routine.

Fortunately, the majority of headaches and stomachaches kids feel are not cause for alarm. Although if pain persists or becomes severe, it’s best to have your child evaluated by a pediatrician. Otherwise, you can ward off nasty headache and stomachache triggers by getting kids prepared for school and in a routine as soon as possible, and getting them excited for the year ahead. Mattey suggests families take advantage of school sponsored welcome events, such as back-to-school night or teacher meet-and-greets. Carothers suggests linking success with new routines to special privileges— such as play or screen time—for extra motivation. Remind kids who are especially reluctant to leave the leisurely days of summer behind that there’s plenty to get excited about including new friends, field trips and special activities.

“There’s so much hype around the first day of school,” says DeBlasio. “Kids are often too afraid to admit their fears around it.” Get them talking about what they are excited about and what will be challenging, and you’ll be sure to get them off to a healthy and happy fresh start.

Photos via Compfight

How to Prevent Summer Brain Drain? Let Kids Play!

The practice of giving kids a break from school during the summer started in the early 1900s. Doctors thought kids needed a reprieve from sitting still for long hours in a classroom, which they believed made them physically weak. Summer was the perfect time to set them free because classrooms became stifling hot. And because then like now, when the heat soared, those who could afford it abandoned cities for the shore.

Long gone, though, are the days when kids had three months of total freedom from schoolwork. In recent years, some schools have begun assigning more and more summer homework in response to research that shows that kids spend the first part of a new school year relearning what they’ve forgotten during vacation. But “summer brain drain” remains a hotly debated topic among parents and educators alike. Opinion is sharply divided about whether we should we stock up on workbooks and shell out big bucks for academic-driven camps to help keep kids’ skills sharp—or give kids some well-deserved time off after working hard for nine months. Turns out, the answer might lie somewhere in the middle.

“Kids deserve a break,” says Katie Willse, chief program officer at the National Summer Learning Association. “But they can and should be learning, too—in different places, different spaces, and in different ways than they do during the school year.”

She says it’s important to understand the academic loss that occurs while kids are away from school. Although it disproportionately affects lower income students who have unequal access to educational opportunities during the summer months (American Sociological Review 72, 2007) all kids, regardless of economic status, lose about two months of grade level equivalency in math skills while they are between grades. A lot of the loss has to do with what kids are doing during their summer break. Just as fitness levels and nutrition suffer from changes in structure and routine, so do academic skills.

Addressing the loss can be pretty simple—with camp. “Summer gives kids a chance to explore new topics and a chance to practice skills they already have,” says Willse. She suggests seeking out camps that offer exciting learning opportunities—such as digital media technology or computer programming—while also sharpening math skills. Local libraries and museums also often offer project-based learning opportunities and field trips that meet these criteria.

Additionally, Willse says parents can sneak in educational opportunities through family projects: involving older kids in remodeling the house by having them research, create supply lists, keep a budget, and manage a schedule; planting an edible garden; planning a family vacation using maps to plot distances and routes, and creating an agenda that accommodates the budget; and starting a family book club. “The goal is to show kids that learning is a life-long, interesting pursuit,” says Willse.

These learning opportunities minimize the chances that kids will spend the brunt of their summer vacation on mindless pursuits, like watching television and playing video games. But Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way for Parents, says that summer learning need not be so organized and purposeful. “There’s too much pressure on children—in school, in the loads of homework, and in the structured lessons their parents schedule,” she says. “If we pressure them to accomplish and to be perfect, it takes away much of the glee of childhood and pushes them to be an adult too soon.”

Cameron sees summer as a wonderful opportunity to give kids a breather, and “a chance to learn and expand at their own rate.” She advises parents to simply let their kids be bored. “Boredom is a tool to let children just be and to reach into their own psyches to find what speaks to them.” Parents merely provide the necessary raw materials: blocks and building tools, art supplies, dress-up clothes, plenty of books, and access to the outdoors. When kids complain that they don’t know what to do, says Cameron, tell them confidently, “You’ll think of something!”

Numerous studies show the importance of unstructured play. It not only positively impacts language development and builds social and physical skills, it also predicts academic success and mental health. “Through play, children develop the ability to become self-achievers and learners,” says David Whitebread, a developmental cognitive psychologist at Cambridge University. Kids develop the ability to think for themselves, control their impulses and emotions, organize tasks, problem solve, and learn from their experiences and mistakes. “Children in play are often setting themselves challenges—climbing a taller tree, riding faster on their skateboard—and through this they are learning their limits and regulating themselves,” says Whitebread. “There’s a decline in this unstructured play and a lack of opportunity for it,” he says. Summer is the time to catch up.

Whether your child’s playtime this summer is organized or self-initiated, all our experts are agreed that what’s really important is just that they stay engaged and learning—with an emphasis on fun.

Experts say kids deserve a break in summer

 

Here are few ideas for fun summertime activities from summerlearning.org that don’t necessarily feel like learning:

  • Tackle a fun cooking project, such as baking a cake. Shopping for ingredients, using coupons to determine discounts, reading a recipe, and measuring all sharpen math skills.
  • Volunteer at a local school, park, shelter, or soup kitchen to build life skills and compassion.
  •  Get creative juices flowing by making sock puppets or turning cardboard tubes into rockets.
  • Record memories and practice writing skills by keeping a summer journal. Kids can write about books they’re reading, new friends they’ve made, and fun trips you’ve taken as a family.
  •  Plant a window box or herb garden to promote healthy eating.

Photographs by UrbanSitter

How to inject Family Fun into a Summer of Work & Camp

four out of five of the miller & friedlander kids playing cards

Summertime, which we’d so love to think of as carefree fun-time, can too often be an extended period of regret for those working moms and dads who can take few vacation days to spend with the family. But do the post-school hot months necessarily have to translate into drudgery for kids, and a guilt-fest for parents?

Not in the slightest, say Lisa Friedlander and Ilene Miller, DC-area moms who are the founders of class- and camp-booking site Activity Rocket, and between them, parents to five kids. Fun for all might just start with an attitude adjustment: one that enables you to see the summer camp you might inevitably have to enroll your kids in as something exciting and enriching rather than an unfortunately necessity.

According to Miller—mom to sons Mark, age 13, and Max, age 10—“The beauty of summer is it gives kids the opportunity to do something new, that they don’t get exposed to in school, like Claymation camp, or rock band camp, for example,” she says. “But in our area, there are also kids who spend the summer at the community pool, taking swim lessons and being pool bums.” Either way, she says, when kids are happy and tired at the end of the day, that goes a long way toward minimizing parental guilt. Which makes for happier family time all around, when you do manage to wedge some in.

This doesn’t have to be an elaborate or expensive prospect, Miller maintains. “I really value the longer days in the summertime, when the kids can stay up later,” she says. “My husband, Craig, and I try to spend a lot of unstructured family time in the evenings with them. We can barbecue outside, have family tournaments that can last the whole weekend—the kids are huge card sharks. We just get back to basics.”

The basics certainly extend to weekends, when camp and work are finished for the week. Says Miller, “We’re so lucky that in the DC area, we have hiking trails, and a lot of rivers that are accessible to us within 10 minutes, that we can kayak on with the kids.” She’s also a big proponent of finding community events, most of which are free. “In the Potomac area, we’ve got all the Smithsonian museums, book fairs, concerts in the parks, festivals—often they have no admission and the only money we’ll spend is on food once we get there.”

Friedlander and family spend weekends at a river house on the Chesapeake (if you don’t have your own, make friends with someone who does, she jokes!). “It’s very much no screens, no electronics, a lot of time spent tubing and water skiing and playing beach tennis and fishing and crabbing the old-fashioned way, with a piece of chicken tied to a rope.” With her oldest child, Jaclyn, age 14, set to head off to sleepaway camp for the entire summer, she says she’s also relishing the opportunity to spend a bit of quality time with Cole, age 11, and Camryn, age 9. As well as taking her own breather from the usual grind. “Those eight weeks of summer go by so fast, it’s important to give yourself a little bit of a break,” she says. “Whether that means not cooking every night, or not cleaning up every day, or just enjoying a walk around the neighborhood—things you wouldn’t do on a regular basis. Just slow down and enjoy the pace of summer.”

Also critical for Miller, “I need time with my husband, too, whether or not the kids are away. We’ll take a picnic and a bottle of wine somewhere, and focus on our time alone.”

But absolutely the biggest opportunity afforded even to working parents and camp kids in the summer: the fabulousness of being outside. “We get really active,” says Friedlander. “We have swimming races, and we bought a Kanjam—literally a Frisbee you throw into a slot, a team game that’s tons of fun; we all love it.”

Says Miller, “Friends helped us build a Gaga pit, which is Israeli dodge ball in a confined space. On weekends we’ll have friends over and sometimes it’s just adults in there. It’s a great way to be outside, get competitive, and work out a little aggression.” Let the summer games begin!

3 Misconceptions About Birthday Parties, Busted!

Photo by Elton Harding

There’s a lot of contradictory and downright erroneous parenting info floating around out there. We’re not afraid to tackle it head-on! 

Throwing a birthday party for your child can feel like anything but a celebration. Instead of rejoicing another year older, parents of even very young children can feel pressured to throw extra-special bashes that rival the ones they see plastered on mom blogs and boastfully circulated through social media. Research published in the Journal of Consumer Culture shows that the pressure to live up to modern-day expectations of what makes a fab party is leaving many parents stressed out and insecure about their ability to pull it off; and likely giving kids the wrong message about what a birthday celebration is supposed to be.

To help parents maneuver party planning obstacles and banish unrealistic expectations, while still throwing a party that won’t disappoint, we spoke with Lisa Gaché, an etiquette expert who often advises on event hosting; and Alison Smith, co-founder of ECHOage, a company transforming party planning by having guests pitch in on a special present or donate to a charity, both chosen by the birthday guest of honor. The two teamed up to set the record straight on three common myths related to planning kids’ birthday parties.

Myth #1: A great party means a mammoth guest list. After all, I have to invite my child’s entire class, and also plan for parents who decide to stick around.

Truth: The etiquette rule, according to Gaché, dictates that if you are planning a big party you really should invite your child’s entire class—at least for grade school or younger kids. You don’t want to risk hurting anyone’s feelings or riling parents by excluding classmates from the celebration. But there are good reasons to keep the party small, including budget, space, and your child’s comfort; many young kids can feel overwhelmed by too many guests, and enjoy a more intimate, lower-key gathering.

The solution, both experts agree, is to host an all-girls or all-boys party, or stick with six kids or fewer. Smith suggests creating a party that specifically lends itself to a smaller group, such as a sleepover or an outing to a special event—think concert, amusement park, or sporting event. If you’re worried about hurt feelings from friends who don’t make the invite list, consider planning a special play date or inviting them to a family dinner.

Regardless of the number of invitees, expect that the parents of kids younger than age five will likely stay, rather than drop-off their tot. “Your goal is to make sure they feel welcome and integrated,” says Gaché. Offer them whatever you’re feeding the kids—chicken tenders and pizza triangles are just fine, she says. Smith suggests setting up a self-serve coffee bar for parents who choose to linger.

And rest assured, once kids hit the middle school years, parties are typically smaller, and the invite list can be left to the guest of honor.

Parents are opting out of over the top parties like these and hosting simple celebrations.

Myth #2: The competition for throwing a fabulous party is intense! I need to match, if not outdo, the birthday bashes my child attends.

Truth: The trend of over-the-top, commercialized parties—parents hiring garage bands or taking a gaggle of tween girls in a limo to a five-star dinner—lives on. But it’s recently been rivaled by customized, personalized parties that impress guests—or more likely, their parents—with hands-on party planning, homemade food, and Pinterest-worthy DIY decorations. “There’s tremendous pressure to be an expert crafter, a professional photographer and a videographer at your child’s party,” says Gaché.

Luckily, plenty of parents are realizing the insanity of both types of this extreme and are moving to simple, age-appropriate celebrations with cake, food, and a bit of entertainment. Opt out of the craziness, and join that party.  Smith suggests skipping the meal, even, and offering only cake and ice cream, which are all everyone really expects at a birthday party, anyway; or picking one wow factor, such as hiring an ice cream truck for the night. Alternatively, take the family out for a special dinner at the birthday boy or girl’s favorite restaurant, and avoid setting big expectations for every birthday to come.

Myth#3: My closets are over-flowing with gifts my child doesn’t need or already has, but I can’t ask guests to forego the gift. People feel so uncomfortable showing up empty-handed.

Truth: “The rule is that ‘no gift’ means no gift,” say Gaché. But guests don’t always comply, leaving those who didn’t bring something feeling awkward. “Society dictates that showing up to any party empty handed is uncomfortable unless there is another plan in place,” says Smith.  So, make just such a plan: encourage guests to contribute to a group gift—something your child really wants or needs—or to give to a charity of the guest of honor’s choosing.  “Everyone feels great about giving without having to show up to the party with a gift in hand,” says Smith.

Gaché, on the other hand, says asking guests to donate to a charity can rub some of them the wrong way (and also risks disappointing your kids). Instead, she suggests asking guests to bring something for an activity the children will partake in at the party; for instance, paint for an art project, or candy for cupcake decorating. This approach also allows you to forego expensive favors by sending kids home with their completed projects instead of a goody bag. Think of it this way: You’re saving parents from shopping for yet another birthday party gift, keeping clutter from your closets, and teaching your child that the celebration is about the company of their guests, and not the gifts they bring. Now that’s something to celebrate!

Photos via Compfight

Meet Stacy and Bailey Katz, Westwood, Los Angeles

They say it takes a village to raise a child. When Stacy Katz became a mom in 2007, she created her own. A single parent of Bailey, now age 8, she left San Francisco, where she’d been working in public relations since the mid ‘90s, and bought a duplex in Los Angeles’s Westwood neighborhood, not far from where she grew up. Then she talked Bailey’s grandparents into moving into the other half of the duplex.

“It’s amazing, like something you’d see in Italy or Spain,” says Katz of her Mediterranean style side-by-side duplex home, where an interior courtyard connects her and Bailey to his grandparents. “He runs back and forth all day, often eating breakfast and dinner with them.” It’s a little bit like how things used to be when her own grandparents moved to the States from Lithuania, and the extended family lived on the same street and even shared houses. “Everyone chipped in and everyone benefited,” says Katz.  “We have a little bit of that here.”

Katz now owns her own public relations and digital marketing agency, Stacy Katz Communications, specializing in digital entertainment, immersive media, and consumer technology clients. After she walks Bailey to school, she often heads back home to work, or meets up with a client—or sometimes even squeezes in a workout. When we caught up with her, her head was freshly cleared from a morning spin class. She talked to us about how she’s creating a balanced life, and shares a few secrets to how she makes it all work.

Other than your parents being (very) nearby, is Westwood a family-friendly neighborhood choice?
Stacy Katz: Very! UCLA, my alma mater, is in Westwood, so there’s an eclectic mix of students and faculty from all over the world. It’s smack in the middle of Los Angeles, which means easy access to both downtown LA—where’s there’s a big resurgence happening—and the beach.

Do you spend much time at UCLA?
Stacy: There’s a lot to do there. Bailey loves to stop for donuts at old-school favorite, Stan’s Donuts, in the heart of Westwood Village, on the way to the Fowler, a cool museum on campus with tons of free or inexpensive kids’ activities on the weekends; or to a basketball game at Pauley Pavilion. There’s a great little secret garden on campus, too. You can easily make a day of it.

Eight is such a great age—still full of wonder, yet old enough to hang out a little later. What else do you like to do together? 
Stacy: I love this age. I grew up going seeing shows at the Pantages Theater in Hollywood, and Bailey’s nearly old enough to make it through a show without me having to feed him Starbursts to keep him quiet! We have a pretty good weekend routine, starting Saturday morning with a martial arts class at Little Beast Gym, or sometimes he’ll take a class at Rolling Robots, where he’s learning how to code in a really fun way. We also love a day at the beach—Helen’s Bike Rental staff is awesome at making sure our bikes are in working order for the bike path. We’ll stop for lunch at Back on the Beach and play at the Annenberg Beach House.

We’re also fans of going to the movies—not the big fancy multiplexes, but the traditional, local Westwood theaters, like the Regent or the Fox, that have been around forever and are famous in L.A. for hosting movie premieres because they look like old school Hollywood. Sadly, they are losing customers to the fancy book-your-seats theatres so we’re committed to giving our business to them.  If it’s a movie night in Westwood, or a matinee, we like to grab a meal at TLT, which used to be a food truck and has made its home as a restaurant right in the heart of Westwood.

With so much to do around town, do you ever stay home? 
Stacy: We love to stay home and play badminton in our backyard—it’s our thing. We’re really big Harry Potter and Percy Jackson fans, so we often read or stream a video on M-GO, which has all the newest releases. We’ll invite friends over, bring in food from Garlo’s Aussie Pie Shop or Panini Cafe, and have dinner on the patio.

Stacy and Bailey with his grandfather, Ronald Katz, in their shared courtyard

Having family around to help must be incredible. Are Bailey’s grandparents his built-in nannies?
Stacy: No! My parents both work full-time as lawyers. I’ve found an incredible male kid sitter who stays with Bailey after school while I work. Bailey adores doing macho things with him, like go-carting, playing dodge ball, or learning to play tennis.

How about when you need a little solo or adult time? What do you like to do?
Stacy: When Bailey is at a play date or with his grandparents, I get a bit of time to myself. I usually head to yoga or Pilates, or to a 30-minute meditation class at Unplug Meditation, to unwind. For a special treat, I’ll get a facial or massage from Nerida Joy at the Bel Air Hotel near Westwood. If I get a night out, I love to go salsa dancing with girlfriends, out to dinner at Taninos for great Italian or to Fridas Mexican Restaurant—where Bailey loves to go, too.

Do you think you do things differently as a single parent than you would if you lived with a partner?
Stacy: There’s no dad in our house, but I remind my child that there are all kinds of families, and we get to live with his grandparents. I try to create experiences and expose Bailey to different kinds of people doing cool things that I might not be so inclined to do myself. We rented a two-person kayak, which was a lot of work—and I ended up in the water, which he loved! I took him to a Tough Mudder race, where people train and show a lot of character and grit to get through it. It had a “Mini-Mudder course,” which he did and loved testing his physical abilities on the obstacle course like the fit adults. It would be awesome to say I did it with him, but…

Last year we learned to ride bikes together. I’ve had a phobia of bikes ever since I fell head first into prickly bushes full of spiders when I was a kid. I learned that sometimes the best way to teach your child how to do something is to realize you’re not the one to teach them. It’s important to be able ask people for help or bring in a coach or expert if you are able to once in a while.

It can’t be easy running your own business, being a mom and finding time for yourself. How do you do it?
Stacy: I aspire to go beyond just being a professional and a mother, but I don’t always succeed. My secret is personal training with Natalia. She has a sweet energy that pushes me when I have it in me, and does a great Thai massage or stretching when I’m exhausted. I don’t even have to tell her what I need.

My other key to keeping it together is the two hours of private time I give myself every morning. I wake up at 5:00 am, make my favorite Bullet Proof Coffee and a smoothie and usually read, meditate, or listen to a TED talk. I realized that I’m not very productive during the time after Bailey goes to bed at night, so I go to bed early and get up early. It helps me be present when Bailey wakes up, rather than trying to play catch up, because at 7:00 am, it’s on!

Photographs by Kyle Monk

10 Healthy On-the-Go Summer Snacks You Kids Will Gobble Up

The end of the school year doesn’t necessarily mean the end of rushing around. And on-the-go summertime families need quick, easy, healthy snacks to keep them energized as they dash from camp to playdates to the pool. “There are good and bad packaged options for your kids,” says Kimberley Grayson of the all-natural online shop, Abe’s Market. She’s helped us round up some of the best treats out there. They come in properly portioned sizes; contain wholesome mixes of fruits, vegetables, grains, and dairy; contain little sugar; and are non-GMO wherever possible. Happy snacking!

These toddler-friendly bagged snacks are “filled with 100% organic fruits and veggies in bite sized and easily dissolvable pieces,” raves Grayson. “The produce is harvested fresh and quick-dried to lock in essential nutrients. And the flavor combos contain just the right amount of natural sweetness and engaging color.” ($3.50, Abe’s Market)

Two varieties of granola—Caramel Apple and Chocolate Banana—are surprisingly light, easy-to-chew and not-too-sweet. Perfect for those busy mornings when your kid’s got to eat breakfast in the stroller or the car seat, since they’re delicious even without milk and provide plenty of fiber and carbs to get tykes fueled up on the fly ($4.50, Target).

What snack’s more classic than popcorn? If you don’t have time to pop it yourself, or just don’t feel like shaking a pot over a hot stove on a sweltering afternoon, grab one of these handy snack-size bags for a low-salt, high-yum treat ($5/bag of 6, available at Whole Foods).

Maybe you have time to spread some nut butter on a slice of toast; maybe you don’t. Either way, Justin’s has you covered with these 1.15-ounce squeeze packs that get some high-quality protein into your snack-needy child’s afternoon—even if it means squeezing them right into his hungry little mouth ($1.30, Justin’s).

This nutrient-packed bar will give kids and parents alike a wholesome, high-energy, low-calorie snack that’s also vegan, gluten free, organic, and non-GMO. All you’ll notice is its vanilla deliciousness ($22/pack of 12, Pure Bar).

Unlike certain yogurt tubes that shall here remain nameless, Siggi’s squeezable yogurts, in blueberry, raspberry, and strawberry, are low in both sugars and ingredients—no frightening-looking dyes, no weird fillers. And while they’re also low in fat, they sure don’t taste like it, thanks to the Icelandic method of straining yogurt into rich skyr. Also great frozen ($4/box of 8, available at Whole Foods).

Especially well-suited to tweens, these easy-pack bars are perfect for any time of the day and fit neatly into lunch boxes and glove compartments for after-camp pick-me-ups. Says Grayson, “Made with five wholegrain super-grains with mix-ins of flavors kids love, I am in love with the chewy texture and nutrition of these bars!” ($5/pack of 5, Abe’s Market)

These smart snacks were developed by two moms to make eating healthy a fun adventure while boosting the brain power of growing minds, according to Grayson. “As the world’s first fruit and vegetable smart cookies for kids, Bitsy’s provides new palette introductions while providing the nutrition active kids need,” she says. Bonus for kids with allergies: they’re also made in a nut-free facility ($6, Abe’s Market).

A sweet, chewy twist on that old nature-lover’s stand-by, gorp. A little bit sweet, a little bit salty, these little bars are the perfect tidbits to munch on as you make your way to all your kids’  summertime activities ($13/pack of 6, Amazon).

This is puffed fruit that crunches, in bite sized clusters active kids can snarf right from the bag.  “Here’s a snack that spans the ages” says Grayson. “It’s got fewer than 75 calories per serving and is made without refined sugars or preservatives. It can do double-duty as a yogurt or ice cream topper, and mixes well with nuts to create a custom-made snack of your own choosing.” ($5.50, Abe’s Market)