Meet Belinda Garza, Matt Hartwig & Graciela, Petworth, Washington, DC

By Christina Bruce

The last “first” time that Belinda Garza and Matt Hartwig met, they were at an engagement party, seated at opposite ends of a large table. Noticing a tall and handsome stranger, Belinda elbowed her friend and whispered, “Who’s that?” She also noticed how much fun the guests on his side of the table seemed to be having. “I loved the people on my end but wanted in on that party!”

First impressions can count for a lot, but not in this case. Garza and Hartwig already met more than once over the years, but those meetings never quite registered until that fateful party. As Garza says more than five years later, “Timing is everything.”

Timing also turned out to be key in finding the airy, slate-grey row house in Northwest Washington D.C.’s Petworth neighborhood that they now share with 7-month-old daughter, Graciela and Spot, a three-year-old Bluetick/Coonhound mix (they think).

While living in Columbia Heights, a busy neighborhood about a mile south, they knew they wanted to find a place “that was big enough to allow us to grow,” says Harwig, an Iowa native who’s director of communications and external affairs at BP America (Garza, who hails from Texas, is vice president of government relations at the Spanish language cable network, Univision). The pair wasn’t initially familiar with Petworth, but after much searching, they finally settled on this four-bedroom house because it had a yard and was close to the Metro, which made for easier commuting. “It turned out to be a really good move,” Hartwig says, “because in the year and a half we’ve been here, it has really changed.”

“Each D.C. neighborhood is developing its own vibe. This one has a nice mix of new people with longtime residents.”

 

 

 

He means for the better. Petworth is one of several neighborhoods in D.C. that’s seen a transformation as a result of the city’s landmark growth in recent years. New restaurants and businesses (including “an actual bookstore that sells books,” Hartwig wrily notes) have popped up within walking distance—and for the couple, so has a community.

“The neighborhood is changing so much, and so quickly, that all the residents are really active in what’s going on,” Garza says. D.C.’s growth has led to the development of New York-style enclaves with their own identities. Says Hartwig, “Each neighborhood is developing its own vibe. This one feels very family-oriented. You still have a nice mix of new people with longtime residents, who have seen the neighborhood go through all kinds of transitions.”

The couple have come to rely on the neighborhood’s active listserv, which advertises everything from schools to goods for sale. But it was Hartwig’s love of basketball that led them to part ownership in a nearby diner. Coaching the son of entrepreneur Paul Ruppert, who owns the aforementioned bookstore as well as local haunts like the upscale pub Petworth Citizen, Hartwig got to know about his latest project, a diner called Slim’s, which is slated to open this August. Ruppert told Hartwig he’d be opening up 45 percent of the diner’s ownership to the community, and Hartwig and Garza decided to take a stake in it—they felt the neighborhood could use a place that was open late, something not common in early-to-close D.C.

Ruppert also owns one of the couple’s favorite new places for a date night, the cozy, popular Japanese-French restaurant, Crane & Turtle, four blocks away from their house. “Small seating, open kitchen, great menu, small plates, good wine,” enthuses Garza.

Homegrown ‘hood-within-‘hood events such as Grant Circle Social, a monthly outdoor gathering, help keep them connected with neighbors.  “People take their dogs, or take their kids,” Garza says. “We take them both,” says Hartwig, adding that the get-together is a nice way to meet neighbors, “because there are a lot of new, particularly young, families moving in.” Hartwig is also on the board of Petworth’s weekend market, featuring farm vendors, live music, and crafts,

Baby Graciela can also be seen about town at “many a happy hour, many a brunch,” Garza says. Hartwig jokes that he’s posted Graciela’s picture at Petworth Citizen on Instagram with the hashtag #babyinabar, a nod to the early after-work drinking scene where strollers are not uncommon.

It’s possible that Graciela’s active social calendar has contributed to what Hartwig calls her “baby FOMO”: Fear of Missing Out. Both Graciela and Spot—a rescue from local nonprofit Lucky Dog who also frequents the nearby dog run and has play dates with other local canines—like to socialize. Spot plunks himself in the middle of the group when visitors are around, while Graciela defies bedtime and makes baby-chat with new acquaintances.

Rock Creek Park, the four-square-mile urban oasis a short drive away, is a favorite for weekend mornings. “When it’s warm, we come back through the farmer’s market on Saturdays, get some coffee and some fruit and pastries, and then we get started with our day,” Garza says.

It wasn’t so long ago that she and Hartwig would have been just getting to the gym at that hour, she recalls. But Graciela and Spot aren’t on the same timetable: “They don’t know what a weekend is yet.”

Photographs by Jeffrey Morris

Child, Please: Memoir of a Daughter

By Ylonda Gault Caviness

I, for one, wanted mama’s approval. And it was clearly a prize not easily won. Mama loved us. Of that my siblings and I had no doubt. But we also knew she wasn’t necessarily in love with us—at least not just because.

There was no cheering our descent down the slide. She didn’t hang with clusters of moms at the playground like infatuated groupie spectators squealing from the stands. Nor did she gush over our every stick figure drawing and plaster them all over the house. Like everyone else’s mother, my mom was happy and sufficiently enthused when we won a spelling bee or some such achievement, but she wasn’t hanging on our words or asking, “You okay?” all the time. I’m pretty sure we took up no more of her energy than was necessary. Without saying so, she let us know we kids could sometimes rock her world, but we couldn’t be her world.

That’s why mama observes my generation of mothers with befuddled amusement. She concedes, of course, that times have changed: We mothers have more complicated lives and our kids face far more dangers. Still, the self-flagellating, all-consuming obsession to raise a child in a fashion akin to a recipe-perfect soufflé is mind-blowing to her. And it’s no wonder. Mothering as an extreme sport is a world far removed from her own sensibilities. When I stop to think about how my friends and I live, here are just some of the ways we differ from old-school motherhood:

  • Mama didn’t run out of the house—as I often do—wearing ill-fitting clothes and no lipstick.
  • She didn’t fret about how well I did in school, how easily I made friends or how good I was in music lessons. (Wait… Oh, that’s right. I didn’t have music lessons.)
  • Mama never hired a babysitter.
  • She didn’t know of, consider, or care about child-friendly explanations for life’s difficulties. “Well. Your Uncle Dave decided to blow his brains out” sufficed.
  • She never let our displeasure get in the way of her good time, dancing the Funky Chicken till her legs tired, oblivious to our tears from embarrassment.
  • Mama didn’t pencil in “girlfriend time”: she relished hours-long, impromptu chat fests whenever Aunt San or Sugar decided to drop by the house.
  • She threw parties at the drop of a hat and took full advantage of our free labor, putting us to work making the deviled eggs and cream cheese celery sticks. (We loved every minute—especially those times Jimmy Mo’ got drunk.)
  • She seldom took our side in a misunderstanding or report of misconduct. If a neighbor, teacher or any other grown-up accused us of wrongdoing, we were presumed guilty until proven innocent.
  • Mama never played shrink. Her lips never formed words like: “Tell me about it” or “How did that make you feel?”
  • Mama wasn’t studying us.

As kids we accepted this reality. It was neither harsh nor troubling; rather, it seemed the natural order of things. As a child you knew you didn’t matter all that much in the grown-up world. If you lay bleeding, someone would probably attend to you. And if you acted out, you definitely commanded notice.  But, by and large, grown-ups were not studying kids. I don’t mean the academic studying that leads to a weird analysis, like “Sponge Bob linked to attention deficits” or “Day care increases aggression in kids.” In southern black parlance, studying means “paying attention to.” And lest my siblings and I get any fleeting misapprehension that we figured into the larger scheme of things, mama was quick to remind us: “Child, I am not studying you!”…

People say I’m a lot like mama. Family and friends have always said I got her smile, her high forehead and cheekbones. Growing up, I was never able to see what they saw. I figured we looked like we were related, but I never grasped the “your-mama-spit-you-out!” so obvious to the outside world. But now, in my 40s, I finally get it. In fact, there are days when a mirror catches me by surprise and I see her staring back at me. Her mouth. Her stance.

But beyond the physical markers, there are glimpses of her mama-ness slowly creeping up on me. It is most palpable—for some reason—now than ever before. Lord knows, my kids have spent the better part of their short lives trying to work my last good nerve. It’s their job, I tell myself. No need to find the just-right response to: Is this a teachable moment? Do I take away a privilege? Do I try to empathize?

No. I just take a good, long breath…Child, please.

Adapted from Child, Please: How Mama’s Old-School Lessons Helped Me Check Myself Before I Wrecked Myself by Ylonda Gault Caviness. © 2015 by Ylonda Gault Caviness. Jeremy P. Tarcher Books, Penguin Group USA, Penguin Random House.

Photograph via Creative Commons.

Lynn Johnson is Empowering Girls Through Go Girl! Theater Camps

By Dawn Van Osdell

This summer across the Bay Area, Lynn Johnson will be spreading a compassion revolution. You won’t find her holding up protest signs or rallying for her cause. Instead, you’ll see her on- and backstage with the more than 600 young girls aged 6 to 14 who are enrolled in her two-week Go Girl! theater camps, held everywhere from Palo Alto and Sonoma to the East Bay.

As co-founder and CEO of Glitter & Razz Productions, the company behind Go Girl! Camps, Johnson, along with her life and business partner, Allison Kenny, strives to bolster these girls’ social and emotional skills and embrace their “girl power” through the creation of their own plays—writing them, creating sets and costumes, and ultimately performing them before an audience. Many of these girls have never before set foot on a stage.

“We help girls develop skills they need to love and respect themselves, to keep themselves safe, to be more empathetic of others, and to make bold and brave choices in their lives,” says Johnson. To do this, she aims to help them to understand and embrace their often confusing, sometimes negative feelings; and appreciate their differences—all qualities and skills Johnson believes will address the compassion deficit she sees in the world. By extension, she hopes to help girls avoid disruptive behaviors, like bullying; and ward off anxiety, depression, and other mood disorders that are often the effects of low esteem.

Lynn Johnson, co-founder of Go Girls! Camps

The power of theater to do this may seem anathema to some but it’s always been apparent to Johnson, a self-described drama geek since age 5. She moved around the Northeast with her parents before settling outside of Boston when she was in the eighth grade. One of only a few African-American students in her new town, she quickly learned what it meant to be different. But she was always at home on the stage, having acted in her first play, called “The Dollmaker’s Shop,” when she was in the first grade; and she found that theater was a way to celebrate differences and to build a better sense of belonging.  “Theater gave me a way to fit in and be part of a peaceful community when I felt like an outsider in every other aspect of my life,” she says. Throughout her school years, she continued to embrace the power of theater “to transform lives,” and has been committed to it ever since.

After studying theater and women’s studies at Northwestern University, Johnson founded a multicultural teen ensemble in Chicago— TurnStyle Teen Theatre—and also performed stories and poems written by children as part of a national tour company called StreetSigns. When the director moved the company to North Carolina, Johnson moved, too. For three years she directed community-based educational programs in Chapel Hill while continuing to perform, until she developed an itch to live in a more urban environment; and she headed west in 2002. “A lot of my friends were moving to Los Angeles, and I thought I’d go, too,” she says. But her plan was derailed when, instead, she took a job teaching summer theater camp in Northern California to be near her brother and sister-in-law, who had just become first-time parents—and met Kenny, a fellow teacher and actor. “She and I fell in love, practically at first sight, and I moved to San Francisco to be with her,” says Johnson.

Eager to continue her work with kids, Johnson worked as a trainer for the Bay Area non-profit, Community Network for Youth Development (CNYD), advising on youth programs in San Francisco while continuing to teach theater with Kenny. With little more than shared experience and a passion for improving young lives, the couple decided to venture out on their own and in 2003 created Glitter & Razz Productions LLC, a theater production company aimed at social change. “We wanted to focus on the impact theater can have on kids, to see what would happen if we helped kids create plays and put themselves in them,” Johnson says. They didn’t need much money to get the company started—they ran it out of their home. Johnson relied on non-profit consulting work and organizational coaching workshops to keep the business afloat, while she taught herself how to run and grow a business. In 2007, the couple moved the company to Berkeley, then again to Oakland’s Rockridge neighborhood, where they settled in and became a community center of sorts. They offered summer camps and programming after-school and during school breaks; and they also hosted birthday parties.  “We were women artists who wanted to give kids a connection to each other,” says Johnson.

“We help girls develop skills they need to love and respect themselves, to keep themselves safe, to be more empathetic of others, and to make bold and brave choices in their lives.”
— Lynn Johnson

They also wanted to create something that would bring financial security. Glitter and Razz was popular, but not lucrative. To stay afloat, they shifted their focus to the most successful, most passion-centric part of their business: their two-week summer camp for girls. “We needed to prune the roses,” says Johnson. “We had a social mission and when we focused on the part we were most passionate about, our business grew.”

It was clearly the right move. Johnson and Kenny have steadily added locations for Go Girl! Camps, which now totals seven; and they saw their enrollment double in the last year alone. ”There’s a real need for social change,” says Johnson. “We care so much and we see our camps truly changing girls, changing their lives.” This year, they’re partnering with Camp Reel Stories, a popular media camp for teens, to offer a more advanced, behind-the-scenes program aimed at tween and teen girls. This program gives rising fifth and sixth grade girls a chance to produce, direct, edit, and star in their own short films. They also offer a Go Girl! Leadership Team, giving rising seventh, eight and ninth graders an opportunity to mentor younger camp participants, fostering their leadership skills and becoming effective role models for younger girls.

 Go Girl! Campers take the stage in camps across the Bay Area. Photo by glitter & razz Productions, llc.

Last fall, in the midst of planning for their biggest camp season ever, Johnson and Kenny became parents to a 6-year-old girl they are in the process of adopting. Johnson admits that the uncertainty of business ownership can be especially stressful for a parent, but says that parenting has made her a bolder businesswoman and conversely, entrepreneurship has made her a better parent. “The skills and the confidence you develop when you build something help you in all of life, including parenting,” she says. “They give you a sense of worth that is so empowering. “ Turns out, Go Girls! Camp, isn’t just about boosting confidence in young girls, but in its founder, too. “I wish every woman could start a business, build something that belongs to them,” says Johnson. “It’s amazing and truly empowering to do what you believe in.”

Lynn Johnson takes a break in San Francisco’s Yerba Buena Park. This summer she’ll welcome more than 600 girls to her Go Girls! Theater Camps.

For more information on Go Girl! Theater Camp, visit Gogirlscamp.com.

Photographs by Matt Mimiaga/stage photo courtesy of Go Girls! Camps

3 Misconceptions About Twins, Busted!

photo by goonsquadsarah
Photo by goonsquadsarah

By Dawn Van Osdell

There’s a lot of contradictory and downright erroneous parenting info floating around out there. We’re not afraid to tackle it head-on!

Societally, we have a fascination for twins, likely because they used to be a pretty rare thing—only about 2 percent of births resulted in twins just a couple of decades ago. But today, due to women having children at an older age and to the continued rise in infertility treatments that often cause multiple births, we’re seeing more twins than ever before. And the likelihood of having twins continues to rise. Even as twins become more common, the mystique around them prevails and feeds misconceptions about what it’s like to be a twin—and about how to parent babies who are seen by the world as part of a pair.

To shed some light on the topic and the misunderstandings around it, we spoke with Joan A. Friedman, Ph.D., a psychotherapist and prominent twin expert. As an identical twin herself and the mother of five children, including two sets of fraternal twin sons, she is uniquely suited to the task. Here she sets the record straight about three common myths related to twin-dom.

Myth #1: Twins are always best friends and soul mates. If mine are not, I’m doing something wrong.

Truth: “There’s an idealized sense of what twins are supposed to be, including best friends,” says Friedman. While many twins are each other’s closest allies, it’s often because they are together so much—sharing a bedroom, classrooms, friends, and family. They are viewed by others—and even by themselves—as a two halves of a whole. If they don’t live up to the stereotypic expectation of being a perfect match, their parents can feel like they have somehow failed.

Rather than try to force an exclusive friendship between them, Friedman says families should recognize that twin siblings are often torn between their strong connection to one another and their frustration over wanting their own friendships. “Break through the stereotype that twins should be inseparable and help them develop individual identities and friendships,” says Friedman. Helping twins individualize will ultimately help them adjust to separate lives when they leave home and go their own ways.

Myth #2: Twins can read each other’s thoughts and feel each other’s pain.

Truth: Friedman, who has talked with countless parents of twins, says she’s heard the claim that twins share ESP too often not to consider it with some amount of seriousness, although she doesn’t buy it. She and her twin do not share telepathy between them and there is, in fact, no scientific proof to confirm that that power exists. How then do you explain it when one twin knows what the other is thinking, picks the same shirt to wear to school, or chooses the same present for a friend?

“They grow up in each other’s face all the time,” says Friedman. There is a familiarity with each other’s personality, reactions, habits, and routines, and there’s a deep emotional attachment that produces a powerful empathy for one another. The phenomenon is similar to the connection an old married couple may have, and their ability to finish each other’s sentences and predict each other’s next step. Like twins, they share a strong tie—though it’s unlikely a psychic one.

Myth #3: Competition between twins is no different than rivalry between singleton siblings.

Photo by pauldevoto 

Truth: More so than singleton siblings, twins are under constant comparison from the world and positioned to fight each other for top dog status. “They are in competition with each other before they are even born, fighting for their fair share of nutrients in the womb,” says Friedman. Even twins who get along well grow up competing for their parents’ time and attention, for dominance, and for independence.

The competition is tough on twins and also on their parents, who often attempt to put an end to the bickering and whining the competition causes by struggling to treat each child fairly and equally. But, “When you’re invested in treating them both the same, it’s a death sentence for all,” Friedman says. She advises parents to avoid seeing twins as a unit and instead, focus on treating them as individuals with unique needs and abilities. “Champion personality traits, abilities, and inclinations and avoid labels and comparisons,” she says. Spending one-on-one time with each twin is also a helpful way to curb the competition.

Although, the rivalry isn’t all bad. “It’s very motivating to have someone to compete with,” says Friedman. “And if someone has to lose, it’s a little easier to lose when you’re losing to your twin.”

Photos via Compfight

DIY Families: 5 Home Projects You Can Do with the Kids

When you’ve got a lot of projects to take are of around the house, your first instinct might be to send the kids out of the house on play dates, or into the yard with their toys. But getting your children involved in working around the house presents many great learning opportunities and, when taught correctly and monitored appropriately, can actually help you get your work done faster!

Below are five easy home projects the whole family can get involved in, from our friends at HomeAdvisor.

1. Painting the walls. You can paint the high parts of the walls; your kids can help cover the lower areas. It’s a project most of them will love, and it also gives them a beginner handyperson’s education in undercoats and how to place tape to avoid painting the baseboards. You will need to supervise them throughout the process, but the sense of accomplishment they’ll feel when they actually get to see the completed room painted a whole new color is enormous. If they’re too little to really help, let them show their creativity by painting smiley faces, clouds, flowers, that you’ll paint over later.

2. Clean out the drains. Drains get stopped up over time, but there’s no need to use chemicals to un-clog them, unless you’ve gotten something major stuck down there. Baking soda, salt, and cream of tartar mixed together into a paste is a concoction that’s safe enough for children to use, and strong enough to get the job done. Let the kids pour this mixture down the drain, then follow it up yourself with a kettle full of boiling water you pour down yourself. Let it stand for 30 minutes to an hour, then let your kids run some fresh sold water through the drain to finish up.

3. Give the mailbox a makeover. Over time, your mailbox can take a beating. This is a great project to get your kids involved in. Wash the mailbox with sponges, water, and mild soap to remove all debris. Then decide: does the box simply need a fresh coat of paint? A new house number? Decorations like flowers or flags? Let everyone in the family have a say—and a hand in making your designs come to life.

4. Plant a container garden. Kids love to get down in the dirt, so why not redirect that enjoyment towards something with an actual purpose? They can create holes for young plants and seedlings, get them situated, and water them in. You can also let them choose some of their favorite fruits and vegetables to plant in the garden—they’ll be so excited to see the plants they’ve chosen shoot up and get bigger day by day.

5. Get them involved in overall house-cleaning. While this might seem like a big chore, you can help kids find a fun way to get involved in the process. Show them how to swish a feather duster around with flair, and they can dust off your end tables and other low-lying areas. You can also make tidying their rooms into a game: how fast can they stack the blocks, or how many dolls will fit in one cubby? Not only does this help you (a little), it helps your children learn good practices that will benefit them through their whole lives.

Ice Cream Jubilee’s Victoria Lai on Retooling the Five-Year Plan and the Importance of Pink Desserts

By Christina Bruce

Five years ago, Victoria Lai accepted what she thought was her dream job. She left a law career in New York City to work at the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) as a presidential appointee working on immigration issues.

Even as a teenager in Houston, Lai, the daughter of first-generation Chinese parents, knew she wanted to make her mark in Washington. She picked Wellesley, the seedbed for women in leadership, for college. She worked on the John Kerry presidential campaign as director of outreach to Asian-American voters. She was, as she puts it, “Doing all the right things.”

Although it wasn’t on her resume, she also happened to have a talent for making ice cream.

But that side interest turned into a future she couldn’t have imagined for herself when she walked into the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services headquarters in downtown D.C. (USIS is a branch of the DHS). “I’m the type of person who always had a five-year and a ten-year plan,” Lai says, but “it was really deflating to find my dream job and then realize it wasn’t everything that I wanted it to be.”

Sitting for a chat a few weeks ago at a table in the airy D.C. riverfront store, Ice Cream Jubilee, that she opened just over a year ago, she reflects on how a home hobby morphed into a thriving business and a huge detour from the national policy career she’d always imagined.

Lai’s love of ice cream is attached to a warm childhood memory. Her father, a neurologist who often worked through dinnertime, would share ice cream with Victoria and her sister when he got home at night.  “It’s what brought our family together when my dad was really busy,” Lai says. “

Lai started making her own ice cream in her un-air-conditioned apartment in New York as a way of indulging her creative side, and continued the habit when she moved to D.C., featuring her creations on a blog that would eventually provide the name for her brand. Even though she had gone so far as to rent a commercial kitchen in D.C.’s NoMa district and was selling her ice cream to two local grocery stores, the pursuit remained firmly “on the side” in her mind.

Things changed when she entered the D.C. Scoop competition in 2013. Making more ice cream than she ever had before—13 gallons, double her usual weekly output—she toted it to D.C.’s Union Market and gave out samples to some 8,000 attendees in blazing July heat. In a field of more than 15 vendors, she won the people’s choice award. “I just didn’t think that I was in that league,” Lai says.

Weeks later, the developers of a waterfront site at Navy Yard, an area booming with new housing and restaurants just a short walk from the Nationals ballpark, asked her if she would be interested in opening an ice cream shop.

When she visited, she found the site fluorescent-lit, with papered-over windows. Even so, she could appreciate how much sunlight the towering floor-to-ceiling windows would bring in, and the beauty of the river view beyond. “If I’m going to dedicate myself to long hours every week, I might as well do it somewhere as beautiful as this,” she thought. “This is where I want to be. It was that conclusion that made me take the leap.” Today, she still feels that same sense of uncertainty about a five-year plan, but in a different way: “I’m sort of at a loss for what’s going to come, but only because there are many more directions to go,” she says.

The Navy Yard waterfront still has a bit of the empty, almost-too-clean feeling of a neighborhood that’s still being redeveloped. Modern glass-front apartments, a movie theater, and a winery/event space are all underway. On a sunny weekday afternoon, a group of construction workers from a site nearby comes into the store, and Lai pauses her conversation to make sure one of her employees hands out water.

In running her business, Lai has lots of emotional and practical support from her husband, Howard Yoon, and 10-year-old stepson, Ian. Yoon, a literary agent who has also blogged about food, helps develop Ice Cream Jubilee’s signature unusual flavors, such as maple rye pecan and salty apple pie. Ian puts stickers on pint lids, cleans the windows (at least, as far as he can reach), and recently opened a pop-up root beer float stand outside the shop.

“My relationship with Ian has grown as the store has grown,” says Lai, who married Yoon this past January after meeting him at a supper club event in 2011. And he’s learning plenty about hard work. “When a kid sees the line and hears the crowd and waits up till 11 p.m. for me to come home,” she says, “that’s a whole lot more tangible than me doing a really hard negotiation or being on an airplane all the time.”

Every week at Ice Cream Jubilee brings new challenges: Whole Foods has already upped its order from early July, and the store broke sales records when its first birthday celebration, National Ice Cream Day, and the arrival of Taylor Swift for two shows at Nationals Park all coincided during the week of July 12.

Meeting the demand is a challenge, given that production happens out of the store and storage is limited. Lai says she has already doubled staff from last year and rearranged the store to fit customers in a double-length line at the counter. Still, Lai is launching a mail order delivery option soon (“I joke that once we do that, then my mom can be a quarter of our sales”) and eyeing locations for a second store.

She’s also constantly coming up with new, sophisticated, and offbeat flavors—Dark and Stormy, based on the cocktail, was one of her recent favorites—and she’s dedicated to using high-quality, local cream. But Lai is also committed to keeping prices as low as possible, and being family-friendly.

“If a family comes here and there is no pink ice cream, somebody’s world is going to get destroyed,” she says. “We hear that all the time: ‘What do you have that’s pink?’”

That’s why a freezer full of cool, new flavors must always have room for good old vanilla and, of course, strawberry.

“Pink ice cream with rainbow sprinkles cures a lot of problems,” Lai says. “If life can be that easy, let’s smooth that over for people.”

Photographs by Jeffrey Morris

Last Minute Family Day Trips For the Dog Days of Summer

By Ilene Miller

My two boys, age 10 and 13, love to spend summer “chillaxing” and getting away from the grind of the school year. But typically, by the end of July, we are all burned out on the pool and looking for some family fun in the sun that doesn’t involve a three hour car ride to the beach or the lakes.

Luckily for us, metro DC has an abundance of activities that make for great family day trips. But no matter what age your kids are—and no matter what city you live in—zoos and other places that house animals are a surefire hit. If you live in DC, check out the Leesburg Animal Park in Northern Virginia. My son Max has taken selfies with a goat, a chicken, and a donkey and hopes to cover all farm animals by summer’s end.

The Catoctin Wildlife Preserve & Zoo in Thurmont, MD offers unique animal encounters where you can touch an exotic animal and learn all about it through their terrific education program. To make a day of it, we like to visit the Cunningham Falls for a short hike and picnic. And of course, in the middle of the nation’s capital we have the star gem of the Smithsonian in the National Zoo. Admission is free and you can literally spend an entire day exploring all of the exhibits!  Once you’re tuckered out, be sure to stop by Baked by Yael’s Cake Pops, a newly-opened, woman-founded cake poppery right across the street and tell her Urban Family and Activity Rocket sent you!

New Yorkers can make the drive (or take a scenic Hudson River train ride) to the Stone Barns Center in Pocantico Hills. A center for food and agriculture that’s built on part of the old Rockefeller estate, its 80 rolling acres of wood- and farmland are idyllic for families, even if you’ve got your dog in tow (Fido must be kept leashed at all times, though). You can sign up to collect eggs from the farm’s chickens, visit the pigs, the sheep, and the greenhouse, or just stroll around and take in a breath of fresh air. For lunch, sandwiches, salads and baked good made with the products from the farm are available in the Blue Hill Café. Or, if you feel like getting fancy, make a dinner reservation at Chef Dan Barber’s award-winning Blue Hill restaurant (you’ll also have to tote some snazzy duds—no shorts allowed in the dining room!).

In Chicago’s Brookfield suburb, the Chicago Zoological Park has been a Mecca for families for over 80 years. Built on 216 acres, and housing about 450 species of animals, this is an easy place to wile away the day. If you live in the LA area, the Santa Barbara Zoo is just 90 miles north of the city and is considered one of the most beautiful zoos in the world. Where else can you see more than 500 animals while overlooking the Pacific Ocean, Andree Clark Bird Refuge, and Santa Ynez Mountains? It’s right by the beach so it’s typically chilly—a bonus on a hot summer day. Not to miss: feeding the giraffes and riding the train, which goes all around the zoo.

When it’s downright boiling outside, we head for some water-bound relief. Harper’s Ferry is another short drive from downtown DC, and a great place to go whitewater rafting or tubing. Last summer, we had a blast leisurely tubing down the river and exploring the riverbeds, and the kids got a huge kick out of the floating cooler and waterproof camera.  In the District, at Key Bridge Boathouse, you can rent paddleboards, kayaks, and canoes. Afterwards, it’s fun to walk around Georgetown or people watch on the waterfront. We also love to rent sailboats at the Washington Sailing Marina and classes are available for kids, adults, and even families.

Across the country, on the San Diego Coast, San Elijo State Beach provides all the thrills of camping and a day at the beach, rolled into one easy-to-reach location. By day, families can build sand castles and play in the reef-protected waters. When the sun goes down, build a bonfire, roast marshmallows, and teach your kids some camp songs. If you need a break from nature, Wan Pizza has delicious pizzas and the waiters bring kids dough instead of crayons to play with while you wait for your food. If you’re looking for watery adventure from Los Angeles, try a kayaking daytrip with LA River Kayak Safari, led by local guides and featuring wildlife galore.

Both San Franciscans and Angelenos can take a family road trip on Highway 1 between Los Angeles and San Francisco to piddle around the tidal pools at Montaña de Oro State Park, and watch the gray whales migrate north from lookouts along the steep cliffs of Pfeiffer Big Sur State Park.

This summer, my family adventure bucket list includes Trapeze School New York in Washington and the zip line at the Adventure Park at Sandy Spring. I have done both with my girlfriends but have not experienced them with my sons and husband yet. I can’t wait to settle once and for all who is our family’s biggest daredevil! Adventure parks are hot right now and you’ll have no trouble locating one within striking distance of your own city.

My kids would shoot me if I didn’t mention amusement parks. We try to end every summer with a trip to one that’s nearby. We are a huge rollercoaster family and dare each other to sit in the front seat, not hold on, keep our eyes open.  It’s a great way to celebrate the end of summer and for us, it’s a short drive to Kings Dominion, Hershey Park, Dutch Wonderland, and Idlewild from the metro DC area.

New Yorkers with little kids in tow will find rides for tots at the world-famous Luna Park at Brooklyn’s Coney Island; and north of the city, in Westchester, historic Rye Playland on the Long Island Sound has something for all ages—including Kiddyland, with rides galore for the just-walking set. Knott’s Berry Farm is a great destination for families in SoCal looking for an alternative to Disney.

So, rather than sit at home in the air conditioning as the summer starts to feel like it’s overstayed its welcome, hop in the car and drive off to a little adventure!

Ilene Miller is co-founder of Activity Rocket in metro DC. 

A Night Off With Kim & Jeff Bosse of Birch Road Cellar, Lincoln Park, Chicago

Completely violating Birch Road’s no-kid policy, the Bosses with Reese and Sophie

By Lela Nargi

Just over a year ago, Kim Bosse, a social media consultant, and her friend Sharon Provins, hit on a brilliant idea: a top-secret, members-only club that would appeal to grownups—if not exclusively parents, like them—who were looking for a low-key, no-kid night out that didn’t have to end right after dinner was over, or devolve into a bar crawl.

Says Bosse, whose husband, Jeff, is now full-time managing the product of this brainstorm, Birch Road Cellar, “A lot of parents appreciate a night away from the kids and night out, but they don’t necessarily want that to be a big scene. They just want to break out of the house!” And that counts for Kim and Jeff as much as anyone. Read on to learn more!

Tell us a little about your “clubhouse.”
Kim Bosse: It’s pretty simple. What we offer is a comfortable, casual environment where our members can hang out. They can keep their own spirits and wine in our wine cellar, which makes getting out of the house easy. Parents have so much on their plate it can be hard to plan stuff. But here, you can get takeout, open up a bottle of wine, and actually talk to your partner, because the music’s not too loud. There are also plenty of other couples you can connect with, if you want to.

Sometimes, Jeff and I will get a last-minute night out. There are all these new restaurants in Chicago I’m always dying to try, but you have to reserve three weeks in advance. It completely turns date night into Chipotle night. But even Chipotle night can be fun if you’re eating it in a nice space with a bottle of wine!

What is it that you guys most like about hanging out in the space you created?
Kim: I grew up in the suburbs, where we had secret neighborhood spots that we kids would ride to on our bikes. It’s something I valued as kid, and also now as a grown-up. The idea of everyone serving themselves here [there are no waiters or bartenders at Birch Road] came from our own lives. I like craft spirits and buying local beer, but when I go out and look at restaurant lists, I can’t remember what I’ve had and liked before. Also, it’s impossible for a bar or restaurant to stock what everyone likes but here, whatever you’ve tried that you like, you can buy it and put it in your locker at Birch Road and it will be waiting for you the next time come in. Or maybe you have special bottle of wine someone gives you as gift but don’t want to open just for yourself; you can’t wait to come in and share it with another member you’ve met here.

Was having a clubhouse-y feel important to you?
Jeff Bosse: We’ve got very much of the living room set-up. People seem to really like those kinds of comfortable spaces.

Kim: We tried with the décor to make it as comfy as home, but to still functional like a bar. A lot of seating at bars and restaurants is intentionally designed to be not comfortable long-term, because they don’t want you to stay. Here, we want you to sit back and enjoy!  We have “studio spaces” that are like mini living rooms. If you want to be more interactive with other members, you can sit in the bar area. There are sofas and easy chairs, but they’re not pushed together, no one is listening in on your conversation or intruding.

Are all your members parents?
Jeff: Only about 30% of them are parents, but among them, we have parents with kids of varying ages: babies, school-age, some who are even older than that.

Kim: One of the things I love about coming here versus other social opportunities we have as parents is that people branch out and the center of the conversation is not always our kids. I love talking about my kids [son, Reese, is 8 years old and daughter, Sophie, is 6] and I could easily talk about them all day. But it’s nice to feel like a grownup and have a conversation about other things. We’ve got a diverse group of members in here, so the conversation naturally steers away from childhood stuff, to food and drink and movies and shows.

Parents in Chicago embrace diversity for families and kids—we’re always looking for diverse experiences—but social clubs here tend to be industry-specific. We have a number of private clubs that are dedicated to finance, to lawyers; these are places people join to further their careers. But Birch Road is unique because we offer the private club experience without it being a resume-building environment; it’s just a place where you and your peers can meet. And most important of all: we’ve got a no-kid policy!

Do you have a favorite kind of night at the club?
Jeff: One of the things I’ve really enjoyed since opening Birch Road is being the best host for Dad’s Night Out. Before, I would host literal “garage parties” where we would drink beer and play darts in my garage. Now we’re sipping Scotch and playing darts in my private club!

Photographs by Thomas Kubik of TK Photography

Go Climb a Tree–It’s Good for your Brain!

Photo by  JimJarmo, via Creative Commons

By Lela Nargi

“Go climb a tree!”

Sound like something you’d say to get your kids out of the house and out of your hair as the summer lingers on and on? According to a new study by researchers at the University of North Florida, climbing a tree—as well as balancing on a beam, running barefoot, and navigating obstacles—is actually a great way to improve working memory. This is defined as the “active processing of information,” which we need in order to perform well on everything from grades to sports. The best part? The benefits can be seen in a short period of time: the researchers found that two hours of the above-mentioned physical activities increased working memory by 50 percent.

All this works, according to the study, because activities such as tree climbing and obstacle navigating, while physical, also have a cognitive component—namely, to accomplish them, we have to use our working memory to adapt to changing conditions and environments. Says one of the study’s lead researchers, Dr. Ross Alloway, a member of UNF’s Department of Psychology, “The research suggests that by doing things that make us think, we can exercise our brains as well as our bodies.”

So by all means, banish your children to the trees—and take yourself along with them! Your memories will thank you.

Profiles of Childhood: Kia Gomez, Doula & Babysitter

Kia Gomez and one of her favorite babysitting charges, Olina, 18 months old

Our childhoods shape us and prepare us, not only for our own lives, but for the joys and values we’ll pass on to others. 

As told to Dawn Van Osdell

“I split my time between school in the San Francisco Bay Area—Notre Dame de Namur University—and my hometown of Los Angeles. It’s not so different from the way I divided my time when I was a kid: between LA, where I was raised, and Belize, where my dad and extended family live and where I spent whole summers and every Christmas. The closeness of my family, and growing up in two places, made me who I am today, and who I am to the kids I take care of. My childhood prepared me to deal with different kinds of people and to realize I shouldn’t have any expectations of how people should be, act, or live.

My mom, brother, and I moved to LA from Belize when my parents divorced. I was 7 years old. I had several cousins in LA to help ease my transition, but it took me a while to catch on and keep up with the other kids. I remember how Americans phrased things so differently than people did in Belize, how the lingo was so completely new. I was fortunate to have a strong family and community of other Belizean transplants who knew the culture of my small country and helped me adjust to living in such a big, new place. Nonetheless, the change was difficult for me and also for other kids to understand. They didn’t get what it was like to be a part of a separated household spread across two countries. I couldn’t invite them over—we were living in a one-bedroom apartment. I didn’t have the luxury of getting picked up and dropped off in a car—I took a city bus. My clothes didn’t have brand names. I realized you have to ask questions to understand how another person lives. I also learned to not just accept differences, but to expect them.

Today, I babysit for dozens of different families. I don’t have expectations before walking in the door. Sometimes the kids are really shy and other times they are balls of fire—similar to the night and day difference between my brother and me when we were growing up. My parents always struggled to understand why I wasn’t more extroverted like him. I’ve vowed to respect and appreciate people’s differences because it makes us who we are. I have a built-in support system for interacting with kids, no matter their personality: my mom, a single mother and a nanny since she was 18 years old. I call her and say, “Help! What do I do? What works for you?” She always reminds to me try to understand the other side, to have patience, and to be confident.

Olina and her three-year-old brother, Samson, hang out in Los Angeles with their sitter, Kia

I’m studying kinesiology, which is the study of human movement. I may be an athletic trainer one day, maybe something else! I’m interning with a chiropractor in LA County, and starting to work with a mom I babysit for who is a yoga teacher for athletes. I’ve also become a doula—inspired by my aunt who is a nurse practitioner— which has given me so much information about what women need during childbirth and what needs to change. There is often a lack of concern over providing a mother and her child with a happy and healthy birth, and fallback from doctors who just want to get the job done. Becoming a doula has introduced me to feminist views, like how women are underestimated just for being female, and the inequalities that still exist between men and women. It’s made me want to speak up for others and for change. I’m able to help by serving as an advocate for low-income families and young mothers with unplanned pregnancies through volunteering at Joy in Birthing while finishing my degree.

Whether it’s the kids I babysit or my friends, I always encourage others to embrace what makes people difference and to try new things. Thinking about the “what-if” will only deter you from doing something that could possibly be wonderfully life changing. For me, even if I fail, I will be happy to know that I at least tried.

Photographs by Kyle Monk