Tips to Help Ease Your Child’s Separation Anxiety

Guest Post by Vicky Keston of Gooselings

If your life with young children is anything like mine, it’s rare that you’re able to walk to the bathroom without a child attached to your legs or shower without a child or two peering through the glass. Needless to say, you need a break, but how do you get help from a babysitter when your child won’t leave your side?

According to childcare experts, children have an innate need to bond with their caregiver before they can trust them. Separation anxiety is common, but even young children can overcome their anxiety and bond with their sitter, giving you some much needed time to yourself. These useful tips will help you to understand the anxiety your child is feeling and take the necessary steps to make time away from you enjoyable and stress-free.

Tips to Ease Separation Anxiety

Find the right sitter for your child.
Interview potential sitters carefully to find one that both you and your child like and trust. Children can detect our nervousness, so your confidence in a childcare provider is important. Make the right choice by reviewing sitter background checks or paying to run one if it isn’t provided. Also check references from other parents and employers. When interviewing the caregiver, ask how she would handle your child’s separation anxiety and discuss strategies that might work best for your child. For additional questions to ask a sitter in an interview, check out this helpful article on interviewing potential childcare providers.

Do a trial run.
For the first time or two, ask the babysitter to watch your child while you’re in the home. Give them time to get comfortable together, then slowly ease your way out. Think of the preschool analogy in which teachers often tell parents to sit along the edge of the room while their child interacts with the teacher, feeling safe that their parent is in the room.

Read a book about Mommy always returning.
You can show your child that you understand her worries and assure her that your time apart is temporary by sharing books with characters they can relate to, such as “The Kissing Hand,” by Audrey Penn or “Owl Babies” by Martin Waddell. For children who are anxious about the transition to daycare or preschool, “My First at Nursery School,” by Becky Edwards is a comforting read.

Call it a playdate.
Tell your child that a new sitter is coming for a special playdate. Talk about how much fun they will have together, and discuss what types of things they can do together. Be enthusiastic. If you are nervous, your child will be, too.

Make it a quick goodbye.
When the caregiver arrives, say goodbye and remind your child that Mommy always comes back.

Create a family book.
Include photos of you, your child and the other important people in their life. It can be as simple as photos taped onto paper that you staple together, or as fancy as a photo book.  Leave this with the caregiver, so that your child can look at the photos when feeling lonely. If your child begins to miss you, ask the caregiver to help her write a letter or make a card for you.

Following these tips will help your child to build a bond and ultimately trust in a sitter, making it easier for her to be away from you. Remember that it’s healthy for your child to develop these bonds with others and just as important for you get a break.

For additional recommendations on leaving your child with a caregiver, see advice from Dr. Sears. For children starting preschool, see additional ideas at http://gooseling.com/2013/09/04/transitioning-to-preschool/.

 Find friend-recommended babysitters at UrbanSitter.com.

Your Turn for Snack Duty!

Add up all the school classrooms and sport’s teams your children participate in and you’ll see that it’s likely you’ll be handed snack duty more than a few times.

Bringing a snack for the class or the team to enjoy at half-time is a chance to help out the teacher or coach, and to provide kids with a tasty pick-me-up.

Before you choose a snack to share, there are a few things to keep in mind:

  • Homemade is great for avoiding preservatives and other ingredients we either can’t pronounce or would rather not see our children consume, but your child’s school or team may have a policy against bringing homemade snacks. Some require snacks be store bought and pre-packaged. Make sure you check the rules.
  • If you’re bringing a half-time game snack, keep in mind your biggest objective is to keep the players hydrated and fueled. Water is key, as is avoiding overly sugary, salty or fatty foods.
  • Parents of kids with allergies often send a separate snack for their kids, but it’s nice to be considerate and not leave anyone out when choosing a group snack. Play it safe and ask parents if anyone has an allergy you should be aware of and check labels to accommodate them.
  • Younger siblings often attend their big brother or sister’s game, and love to join in on the snack. It’s nice to bring extras. Their parents will greatly appreciate not having to keep little ones away from the tasty temptations.
  • Keep it simple. Snacks are often eaten standing up and at lighting speed. Nothing fussy.

So what do you bring? Here’s a helpful round up of tasty, healthy food  to feed a crowd:

  • Save your wallet and the planet by foregoing juice boxes and bottles of water. Instead, bring a large jug of water or a healthy sports drink made from a mix, and don’t forget a stack of reusable cups.
  • Fresh fruit. Go beyond orange slices (although they are popular for a reason!). Think apples, Cuties, grapes and bananas, or make it fun by serving frozen fruit cubes or melon balls on skewers.
  • Yogurt sticks. Choose the ones without high fructose corn syrup and other nasty stuff, and freeze them to turn them into satisfying popsicles.
  • Air-popped popcorn served in brown paper bags.
  • String cheese sticks.
  • Individual serving bags of pretzels, Pirate Booty or Apple Chips.
  • Mini boxes or raisins or craisins.
  • Fruit leathers or twists made with 100 percent fruit.
  • Unsweetened applesauce in the pouches.
  • Jello cups.
  • Mini cinnamon raisin or whole-grain  bagels.
  • Popsicles – packed in a well-insulated cooler.
  • Healthy granola bars or other kid-sized energy bars.

Need a little extra help with snack duty? Hire a sitter to help at UrbanSitter.com.

Simple Ways To Help Prepare Your Child for Kindergarten

photo by anieto2k

Whether your little one is going off to kindergarten this fall or the big day is a year or two away, it’s nice to know she’s on track and prepared for success. Preparing her is easier than you may think.

You can send her off to big kid school with confidence by taking time to help her practice skills in each of seven areas experts have identified as key aspects of early childhood development: Language Development, Learning and Thinking, Beginning to Read, Beginning to Write, Numbers and Counting, Physical Development, and Social and Emotional Development.

Educators use these buckets to help decide if a child is ready for kindergarten. Yours will undoubtedly be ready to tackle the big milestone with some simple, yet consistent help from you, other family members or your sitter!

Language Development

What you can do:

  • Have frequent conversations with your child. No baby talk  Use complete sentences and lots of good description.  Encourage her to use words to express her feelings and reactions to the world around her.
  • Play games that require listening and following simple directions.
  • Read stories with easy-to-follow plots and interesting characters to talk about.
  • Sing songs and read stories or poems with rhyming words.

Learning and Thinking

What you can do:

  • Help make small collections, such as rocks or toys, and have her sort them using different criteria, such as size, shape, and color.
  • Do simple puzzles together. Tired of yours, trade with a friend or make your own using photos, pictures from magazines or print-outs.
  • Let her help you sort and fold the laundry, matching socks and other clothes by size or color.
  • Play “I Spy” to practice color and shape recognition.
  • Show her how to string beads to make patterns… and beautiful necklaces!

Beginning to Read

What you can do:

  • Set a time every day to read to your child and talk about the letters and words, characters, and what happened first, next and last.
  • Have her put into the correct sequence photos of herself or family members at different ages.
  • Buy magnetic letters and let her play with them on a cookie sheet or other magnetic surface.  Practice the sound each letter makes.
  • Have her cut out letters from magazines to spell her name and other simple words she knows.

Beginning to Write

What you can do:

  • Help her practice writing her name, ABCs and numbers 1-10. Use different tools to make it fun – colored pencils, chalk on the sidewalk, and finger paint.
  • Together keep a summer journal. She draws a picture of something she did each day, and with your help writes a word or more to describe it.
  • Let her help with writing grocery lists or making cards for friends. This helps her to see the different ways we use writing in our daily lives.
  • Make labels for belongings, such as an art box, notebook, or cup.

Numbers and Counting

What you can do:

  • Go on treasure hunts to collect things to use for counting.
  • Use coins or items around the house to experiment with adding, subtracting and the use of “more” and “less.”
  • Together look for and point out numbers in her world, such as addresses, page numbers, recipes, and price tags.
  • Read stories and sing songs about numbers, such as “Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed.”

Physical Development

What you can do:

  • Help develop large muscles by playing with balls, hula-hoops and bean bags, and riding a bicycle or tricycle.
  • Build simple obstacle courses to practice jumping, walking a straight line, and climbing.
  • Help develop fine motor skills by practicing with child-safety scissors. She can cut out shapes you draw on paper or pictures from magazines.

Social and Emotional Development

What you can do:

  • Create an “About Me” notebook for your child. Together add personal information, such as her name, age, address, favorites, and names of family members. She can decorate it with drawings that tell more about her.
  • Build independence by rewarding the things she can do for herself, such as brushing her teeth, washings hands, getting dressed, and zipping a jacket.
  • Play school to help her practice saying goodbye, meeting new friends and packing up to come home

Looking for childcare help? Find babysitters with advanced degrees in child development and elementary education at UrbanSitter.