child adjusting to preschool

Is your child having trouble adjusting to preschool? It’s heart-wrenching and frustrating to leave your child sobbing at the door of the classroom each morning, even if you know they’ll soon recover and have a fun time without you. Here are helpful tips to help ease separation anxiety in those first few weeks of school to make the transition a bit easier on both of you.

6 tips to ease the transition when your child is having trouble adjusting to preschool

  • Keep calm

    Children can pick up on non-verbal clues and sense your anxiety or uncertainty about the classroom, preschool teachers, or decision to leave him at school. Portray a sense of calm and confidence. You are making the right decision. Preschool is a wonderful place for your child to grow, learn, and develop new and fulfilling relationships with caretakers and friends outside the family. This positive attitude helps your child to look forward to their school day.

  • Create a consistent routine

    Children thrive on routine. They need to know what to expect and what is expected of them. Create a consistent morning routine – having breakfast together, packing their lunch, preparing for school, happily departing home and saying hello to the new teacher before saying goodbye to each other.

  • Make a prompt departure

    The first few days of school, you may have stuck around a little longer to help ease your child’s anxieties and help them to feel safe and comfortable in a new care environment. Now that they have a few days or weeks under their belt, it’s time to say a prompt goodbye.

    Give a loving hug or kiss, assure your child that they’ll have a wonderful time at school and that you will return shortly… and promptly leave. Your child will soon come to accept that that’s how the separation plays out. Sticking around to comfort your child only prolongs the goodbye ritual, making it tougher on everyone involved.

  • Don’t sneak out

    Leaving without saying goodbye in the hope of avoiding a tearful farewell or a full-on meltdown only makes the separation worse. If your child is already having trouble adjusting to preschool, you don’t want them to feel abandoned or tricked. You also want them to know what to expect, including a loving goodbye routine.-

child having trouble adjusting to preschool
  • Send along a little love

    Some experts recommend giving a child a transitional object or comfort item to take to school for comfort. This may be a picture of the family, a favorite stuffed animal, doll, a lovey or blanket. Make sure your child’s teacher is ok with bringing things from home before you commit to sending in a favorite. Some teachers have a policy of leaving the item in a cubby or school bag and allowing your child to visit it when needed. This can help provide individual attention and a sense of security during their preschool experience.

  • Involve the teacher

    Talk with the teachers about your child’s anxiety about the transition to preschool or their nerves to leave you. If they know how your child feels, they’ll be ready to help you with the separation and provide extra comfort. Teachers have lots of effective strategies for helping little ones adjust to the goodbye, such as having a special activity ready for your child, putting aside a favorite toy for them, having a helper on hand to provide extra attention or creating a ritual for starting the day at school. 

Additional Tips

  • Discuss preschool: Before your child starts, spend time talking to them about preschool. This will help them know what to expect.
  • Read books: Reading books like “The Kissing Hand” by Audrey Penn can be a comforting way to prepare your child for preschool.
  • Practice social skills: Arrange playdates with other children to help develop their social skills.
  • Comfort objects: If allowed, let your child bring a small comfort object from home.
  • Adequate sleep: Ensure your child gets adequate sleep to handle the new daily routines with energy and enthusiasm.

It’s reassuring to remember that starting school and being away from a parent is often a tough transition for preschoolers and their parents. It’s completely normal for a child to have trouble adjusting to preschool.

Kids adjust to the change at their own pace, some needing a little extra time to feel comfortable and excited about their time away. Your patience, reassurance, and consistency will help them transition and embrace a rewarding new experience.

Related: Tips to Help Ease Your Child’s Separation Anxiety

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